


Practice makes perfect

by httpsjikook



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Porn, Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Smut, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-23 18:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21086099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsjikook/pseuds/httpsjikook
Summary: Vernon catches Seungkwan watching porn and he's worried about what he might think of him, though it turns out the embarrassment worked out in his favour in the end.





	1. caught in the act

On a Friday afternoon, seungkwan was in his dorm alone. The group had no schedule today, though chan and junhui (his roommates) were practicing anyway. some of the others were in their own dorms, or out enjoying their free time, but all seungkwan wanted was time alone. He plugged in his headphones, testing them a few times by playing music to make absolute sure they were connected before using them as intended, knowing some of the others were just next door and not wanting to draw attention. It's not like watching porn was that embarrasing; he know the other members did it because they'd been caught before, hell, sometimes they even watched it together just for banter. Theconversations of the boys often involved porn, sex, but seungkwan stayed quiet. He'd try to be involved at first to seem 'normal' but he gave up when it just made him seem like a try-hard, managing to fly under the radar. He went to a familiar section clicking on a video he'd seen before and skipping through the shitty acting introduction. Unzipping his jeans and pulling them down along with his underwear, bringing his hand to his dick when he felt it react to what he was watching. He moved his hand at a pace he found satsfying, his hearbeating punding in his ears as he went faster. Seungkwans eyes were focused on the screen, the moans of the two men he was watching as well as his own being the only thing he could hear, distracted from other disturbances until made to notice something out of the corner of his eye. He screamed, ripping his headphone out of the laptop, it falling forward so it faced the door now blasting the moaning noises out loud for Vernon, who had walked into the room after knocking and being ignored, to hear and see. seungkwan slammed the laptop shutand pulled his quilt over his half naked body. Vernon, skin tone currently resembling a tomato, stuttered awkwardly. "um.. s-sorry i just.. wanted to know if u wanted t-to hang out but i'll leave." Seungkwan stayed in position with his mouth open wide not managing to spit out a single word.

He sat like that for a few minutes processing what had just happened; the most embarrasing moment of his life he thought. The two of them were best friends but he had never talked about his sexuality. Vernon never asked. Even when the other members teased him and made comments about him being gay, seungkwan denied them trying to argue his straightness. Even if his members had their ideas, Seungkwan had never came out to anyone, and he was scared about what would happen if he did, suspecting a few of his bandmates to be homophobic. Hell he knew what society was like and that it wasnt exactly acceptable so he wouldn't be surprised. Seungkwan didn't see Vernon for the rest of the day, staying in his room. However when the next day came they were forced to see eachother at breakfast, and at dance practice, though they kept there distance (mostly by the choice of Seungkwan who stayed away from him, making sure to look busy or talk to another member when he noticed vernons attempts to make eye contact). But, the two lived together, ate together practiced together. It's not like he could just never speak to him again. That night back at the dorm seungkwan got a text from Vernon.

"Hey"  
10 minutes later  
"Don't ignore me stupid"  
15 minutes later  
"fine"  
shortly after that he heard a knock on his door, opening it to Vernon stood there, looking as angry as he could look. Vernon was a calm person and had 'the fcial expressions of an angel' seungkwan had once retorted. "come and play video games w me dumbass." "I don't want- AH" vernon grabbed his arm and pulled him down the hall ignoring Seungkwans protests as he pulled him along. He let go when they got to the living room area, turning on the xbox and chucking him a controller. "What are you doing!?" Seungkwan whispered as angrily as he could. The other shrugged. "I wanna play xbox" that got him a judgemental stare. "You've been weird with me all day now just play COD with me." Seungkwan felt embarrassed at that. they were both quiet for a while, Vernon waiting for Seungkwan to speak but ending the silence himself when he didn't. "I'm sorry for barging in but i did knock first and i texted you so that's on you." Seungkwan sighed. "You could've took my silence as ignorance." he paused. "But its ok." "Theres nothing to be embarrassed about watching porn, who doesn't?" Seungkwan looked at Vernon blankly at that response. "Or you know.. being gay." "what?" "theres nothing wrong with it" "don't say that" Vernon shot Seungkwan a confused/ concerned expression. "I'm just saying -" "Well I'm not gay." "but you were watching" Frustrated, Seungkwan sighed. "I was just watching it for educational purposes." "Okay" replied Vernon, obviously defeated. "If you don't want to talk about it we don't have to, i just wanted you to know that i don't care what you're sexuality is." Seungkwan teared up at that but blinked his tears back not wanting to reveal his emotions. They carried on playing the game for a little while before Vernon announced he was going to bed, to which Seungkwan agreed that he probably should too. Lying in bed Seungkwans heart felt heavy despite his relief. He thought about Vernon, how his support just made things harder. How he wished he would've called him a freak and kept his distance. But he knew that Vernon wasn't like that. He had always thought maybe Vernon would be okay with his sexuality and that made him even more nervous to tell him because he knew it would only make his feelings deeper and boy, wasn't he right about that.


	2. friendship ruined

The two friends didn't talk about the situation again after that, everything between them was as normal for a while. One night the members had been drinking. Everyone was of legal age now apart from Seungkwan, Vernon and Dino, but sometimes one of the older boys would buy some booze and sneak it into the dorm. Vernon had taken a bottle of vodka from Seungcheol's room, revealing it Seungkwan when the others had gone to bed and it was just the two of them. Seungkwan gasped at his friends revelation. "He's going to kill you" "We'll only drink half and I'll fill it up with water and put it back, and if he notices I'll just blame Chan" Vernon shrugged. Seungkwan laughed "You're evil. I like it" "Clearly you're rubbing of on me." "Oh really? an angel like me?" Seungkwan said, batting his lashes. Vernon found that hysterical. "You're no angel." he said between laughing "You're the meanest out of us all." "am not" "am too" "am not".... "Jihoon is" They both stated in unison before bursting into laughter. The two of them kept drinking making it into a game of truth or dare which just turned to them asking stupid questions and talking about random shit. "truth" vernon slurred. "hm?" "never have i ever-" "Is this never have i ever or truth or dare?" vernon giggled. "Shh- both. I have never wanted to kiss someone in this room." Seungkwan gulped atthat question. "We're the only people in this room.. do you mean in the whole dorm or..?" 

Vernon shook his head. "I know what i said." Seungkwan blushed, choosing to stay silent. "Do you want to kiss me? because i wouldn't mind." By this point vernon had moved his face close to Seungkwans, barely an inch between them. He stayed frozen staring at Vernon not knowing how to react but then, Vernon kissed him. Vernon. Kissed HIM. Seungkwan reciprocating for a second before pulling away and springing to his feet, then running to his room. He lay in bed, his heart beating so loud he could barely hear himself think, which was probably for the best. Vernon didn't chase after him, thankfully, and he tried his best to ignore his imposing thoughts and go to sleep, but he kept replaying the scenario in his head over and over again until he tired himself out and fell into unconsciousness. 

The next morning he went back to ignoring Vernon, and for the most part, he did the same. Seungkwan felt bad. He didn't want Vernon to be embarrassed or feel like he had done something wrong, because really, he hadn't, but what was he supposed to say? So he carried on, not speaking to him for the rest of the day. With the group's comeback approaching, all they were doing these days was practicing; learning and recording songs and learning choreography. So that's what they did all day, returning to the dorm when they were done which didn't end up being till almost midnight because Jihoon was a hard-ass who made everyone re-record their parts if he felt they weren't up to standard.

Just as he was about to fall asleep Seungkwans phone lit up with a text from Vernon.  
"Sorry."  
He dwelled over the text for a minute before replying.  
"For what?"  
"You know.."  
"There's nothing to be sorry about."  
"Well why are you ignoring me?"  
"Hey you were ignoring me too."  
Seungkwan could feel the others annoyance through the phone.  
"Look can we talk. Meet me in the hall outside." 

Rolling his eyes Seungkwan complied, getting up and dressed quickly and shuffling out to meet his friend. "Hello" vernon spoke when Seungkwan sat next to him. "Yeah hi." "Sorry about last night but. I thought... I dont know." Vernon muttered. "Thought what?" "Maybe that.. you wanted me to kiss you." "Why would you think that?" at this point Vernon impersonated a tomato once again. He shrugged. "Well.. you weren't wrong." Vernon looked stunned at that. "Look it's awkward I don't want to talk about it." "Why not? if you don't talk about it then nothings going to happen." Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at his friends comment. "Like what?" "Like.. me kissing you again.." Now Seungkwan was the red one. He really didn't know what to say to that and he was someone who was seldom lost for words. "I'm just saying both of us are.. inexperienced.. sexually confused.." "I'm not.. confused- wait you're confused?" Seungkwan had always assumed his friend to be straight, he'd never shown otherwise. As far as he knew he was interested in girls. "I think.. maybe I'm bisexual? and if you're not confused then you're gay and in denial." Seungkwan glared at him. "Look I'm not staying that to be a prick I know its hard.. just. maybe we could help each other out." "in what way?" "...practicing." Seungkwan thought his heart might jump directly out of his mouth and his head would explode. He let Vernon's proposal sink in for a minute. "If you're saying what I think you're saying.. how would that work? there's 13 of us living here and none of us can get a minute to ourselves." He was right about that. "Yeah but.. sometimes we sleep in the same room.. we just have to make sure we can get a room to ourselves." That was true, even though they had set members per room they didnt always stick to that. Vernon roomed with Hoshi and Seungkwan with Dino and Jun. Minghao had his own room and often Junhui would stay in his room to annoy him. Vernon could maybe convince Dino to room with Hoshi for a bit. So they discussed their plan and planned to put it into action the next night, then returning to their dorms as if nothing had happened and the conversation they'd just had was completely normal. 

******************************************************************************************************

Making their plan happen was actually easier than anticipated. all of performance unit had gathered in Hoshi and Vernons room to watch a movie, to which Vernon acted annoyed and stated he would be staying in Seungkwans room, to which they agreed. Seungkwan laughed at how smooth things had worked out. He sat at the top of his bed watching YouTube on his laptop while Vernon sat at the end. "So?" "Hmm?" "Come on the plan wasn't for me to come and watch you sit on your laptop." "Thats not what you meant by practicing?" Seungkwan teased, causing the other to roll his eyes. "Look it's weird. I'm still a bit uncomfortable about it." Seungkwan mumbled sheepishly. "So you don't want to? you don't want me to touch you." At that Seungkwans breathing hitched. "I - I do.." "Yeah? what do you want me to do?" by now Vernon was on his knees, one leg on each side of Seungkwan, practically sat on top of him. He pushed the laptop closed and moved it of the bed so he could pull himself closer to Seungkwan, trying to get his full attention. Seungkwan kissed him, finally, grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him down on to his bed. They kissed like that for a minute before Seungkwan pulled away. "Why'd you stop?" Vernon pouted. Seungkwan could've asked himself the same question. "You want more?" "what?" Vernon stood up and ordered him to do the same. "Take of your pants.." Seungkwan did as he asked. "Vern I.. what are you doing?" "Only what you want me to do. We need to take care of this." He said, cupping Seungkwans bulge through his boxers, eliciting a loud gasp. "But only if you say its okay." Seungkwan nodded aggressively. "Hm. Do whatever you want." Vernon pulled his boxers down taking his dick in his hand and pumping steadily as Seungkwan hummed with satisfaction. He did this for a minute before taking him into his mouth. "Fuck. Oh my god." Seungkwan had to put a hand against his mouth to conceal his shouts, grabbing Vernon by the hair with his other hand. Vernon carried on, please at the reaction he was getting. He tried taking him in deeper having to slow down as not to choke. Seungkwan bit his lip so hard he could taste blood in his mouth. He'd never felt pleasure like this before and it was overwhelming. "I'm gonna- fuck" Seungkwan released his load into Vernons mouth

"Mmm I'm gonna-" his hips bucked as he released his load into Vernons mouth. He dropped down to the floor leaning against the wall, breathing heavily and his leg still shaking. "Was that.. okay?" Vernon said wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb. He smirked when Seungkwans response was just staring at him blankly. "Guess our friendship is effectively ruined." he said, slumping down beside him. "I mean.. we haven't done a lot of things yet. Theres still more friendship to ruin i feel like." "Oh really? like what?" Vernon questioned eagerly. Seungkwan rolled his eyes. "you'll have to wait and see."


	3. hate you

For a while after that occurence, the things between Vernon and Seungkwan kind of slowed down a bit - partially due to Seungkwan and partially due to their busy schedules. Whenever they had time alone together they'd normally just make out, maybe a hand job here and there. But Seungkwan was always the one that stopped things going further, despite his previous confidence. Its not that he didn't like it because he did, god Vernon knew how to use his mouth, but he was nervous. The reality of the situation always hit him and put him off. He was messing about with his best friend, who he'd had a crush on for years, who was basically just using him as a release for his sexual frustration and a way to explore his sexuality. And, to an extent, he didn't mind that, but knowing their feelings probably weren't the same got to him a little. That and the thought of sex, like actual sex, kind of scared him. He knew it was stupid to be an 18 year old virgin and still be nervous about sex, all the other members besides vernon made fun of him for it, but that was just how he felt.

Eventually Vernon started to get frustrated at his seeming lack of interest. "I don't want to force you to do things that you're not comfortable with but don't you want more than just kissing?" he questioned Seungkwan. "We do more than kissing" He replied. "Hardly." Seungkwan looked at the ground nervously, fidgeting with his hands. "And you never wanna reciprocate like.. my dick gets hard to. What ever happened to you suck my dick I'll suck yours?" "I don't think that's how the saying goes Vern." He gave a sigh when the boy glared at him. "Look I do want to but.." Vernon shot him a curious glance when he didn't finish his sentence. "But I'm scared." Vernon laughed to which Seungkwan looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, look don't be embarrassed. You have nothing to be scared about, i wouldn't hurt you." He reassured. "But what if I'm.. not good. Like I know you've never been with a guy before me but you've been with girls before." "Seungkwan I've slept with one girl." "That's still more than me." Seungkwan remarked. "Don't worry yourself about these things. I'm sorry for bringing this up I don't want to put pressure on you -" "no it's okay." Seungkwan took hold of one of Vernon's hands. "I'm sorry too." "for what?" Seungkwan shrugged. "Being kind of a prude." Vernon laughed. "No need." 

After that conversation Seungkwan felt relieved. Maybe he was making a big deal out of something that wasn't. He started thinking about things differently. For a while, his thoughts about Vernon had been tarnished by his anxiety. Everytime he thought about the two of them having sex he thought of something going wrong. But since talking with Vernon and realising he had nothing to worry about, he couldn't stop thinking about it - in a good way. On the next day they finally had time to themselves, some of the members were out or resting in their rooms. Seungkwan decided to seize the opportunity. He made his way to Vernons room and opened the door without knocking  
"Come in." Vernon said sarcastically. "Hey." Seungkwan grinned at the boy. "Hi. What?" "A lot of the guys are out.." Seungkwan answered. "Oh..." "But some of them aren't so we have to be careful." He added. "Kind of makes it more fun, don'tyou think?" Vernon smirked. Seungkwan shot him a judgmental look. "Absolutely not." For him he could hardly imagine anything worse. Seungkwan bolted the lock on the door in case anyone tried to walk in and made Vernon put music on, loud enough to bury other noises but not loud enough for one of the members to complain, hopefully anyway. "Jihoons already blasting his music anyway.. you're really pedantic huh?" "Its called being cautious." Seungkwan defended himself. "Whatever."

Vernon got up from his bed and walked over to Seungkwan, putting his arms on either side of him so he was pinned to the door. "What are you -" He brought his lips to his, kissing him softly at first before practically sticking his tongue down his throat. He grabbed his ass with one hand as he tugged on his lip with his teeth, his other hand holding his shirt in a fist to keep him against the door. Seungkwan whined when he pulled away. "Why'd you stop?" "Because" Vernon started. "That was just a warm up and I want you to continue." He stood slightly back and began to unzip his jeans. "I think it's time you show me what you can do." Seungkwan stepped knelt down in front of him, batting away Vernons hands to pull down his pants for him. He traced the hem of his boxers with a finger before pulling them down as well. Seungkwan wasted no more time, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and putting his lips on the tip. He worked his mouth up and down slowly, not wanting to take more than he could handle, but vernon grabbed a fist ful of his hair and slammed deeper into his throat. Seungkwan tried to pull back a bit each time he thrusted. He started gagging and his eyes streaming but he didn't want to stop, he'd been depriving Vernon enough and he wanted to pleasure him like he deserved. He kept going till he came in his mouth, swallowing and pulling away the tears from his eyes. 

"Shit are you okay?" Vernon asked after collecting himself for a minute. "Yeah I'm fine just.. maybe don't throat fuck me so hard next time." Vernon flushed red, giggling nervously. "Sorry." He said. Seungkwan smiled. "Don't be sorry. I want you to enjoy but you know it's only my first time sucking dick i don't have an incredible gag reflex." "Hm better work on that then." Vernon smirked. He was surprised when Seungkwan started to unzip his own pants, raising an eyebrow with interest. "Don't just sit there. Take your clothes off." Seungkwan ordered him. Vernon got to his feet and pulled off his shirt quickly and threw it on the floor, doing the same with his pants and boxers. He instructed Seungkwan to get on the bed, and he obeyed. "On your hands and knees" Vernon got onto the bed behind him and leaned over, putting two of his fingers in his mouth as an invitation to suck. 

Removing his fingers from his mouth, slowly he fingered his entrance, slowly pushing one in at a time, getting a whimper from Seungkwan. When he stopped the other complained. "W- why did you stop?" "Because. Where's the fun in giving it up straight away? I want you to show me how much you want me." Vernon teased. "Fuck you. You're the one who's been begging to fuck me." "Is that so? well then I guess you don't want it." "No please" Seungkwan begged. "Hm that's what I thought." Vernon fingered him again adding a third to prepare him. Seungkwan was writhing and squealing uncontrollably at this point which just got Vernon even more hot and bothered. he opened his bedside draw and pulled out lube and a condom, ripping the latter open with his teeth and rolling it on, then warming up the lube with his fingers before applying it. He placed a hand on Seungkwans hip for balance as he lined himself up with his entrance before slowly pushing himself in. He hesitated for a minute before pulling out, purposely trying to get a reaction out of the other. "Fuck. If you don't move now." "What are you gonna do about it?" Vernon puted. "You're a dick. Just fuck me now." Seeing Seungkwan all flustered, begging for him was part of the fun for Vernon. As much as he wanted it to, the teasing was worth it. He pulled out slowly again before thrusting in again, faster and deeper. He mercilessly continued at this pace leaving Seungkwan a mess, clawing at the sheets and biting his lip so hard he drew blood. He was trying so hard to suppress the screams because god forbid any of the members found out about this, but doing so made his head feel like it might explode. "You like that baby?" Vernon asked, wanting reassurances though Seungkwans state wasn't enough. "mm. yeah. so close" Seungkwan managed to keep his reply a breathy whisper. Vernon went slower but harder now, trying to push him over the edge. "Uhhh fuck.. I'm gonna."/p> At that they both released almost simultaneously. They flopped onto the bed panting, Vernon lying on top of Seungkwan. "Get off." Seungkwan groaned after catching his breath. Vernon rolled over, tutting at his order n giving him a pout. "You weren't saying that a minute ago." "Yeah that was when you were making me come i dont want you just lying on top of me you're heavy" "meany" Vernon retorted. He got up off the bed taking off his condom and throwing it in the trash. The two quickly got cleaned up and ready as inconspicuous as possible, although they hadn't heard much stirring from outside their room. Not that they would of during their 'session'..Seungkwan was suddenly struck with nerves about one of the boys just walking in (they tended to do that a lot) or overhearing so he tried to make himself and his room look tidy again in quick time. "Okay. Im gonna go back to my room." Vernon announced. Seungkwan nodded his head "okay." Vernon smirked at him "What?" "Why are you acting so awkward all of a sudden?" He laughed. Seungkwan felt his face get hotter. "What do you mean I'm normal?" He laughed again "Alright. I'll see you later" At that he walked out. Seungkwan sighed. Everything Vernon did frustrated him. He preferred before, he thought, when nothing had happened between them and his crush was unrequited, because now somehow he liked him more, but also hated him. All of his cocky remarks and little smirks he gave him made him want to rip his clothes off and he hated it.


End file.
